30 Thoughts on 30 – Sprinting for the Border

A Taco Bell opened three miles from my house in fall 2012. I visited the location before it opened, hoping and pleading for an early taste of delicious imitation something (anything) wrapped in an aged flour tortilla and smothered by beans, rice, and cheese. Heaven envies meals such as what I had in mind, but they didn’t serve me that afternoon. Whatever.

My begging trip isn’t a surprise, though. Taco Bell is my favorite food. Notice that I said food and not fast food. If given the choice between a six-pack of stomach muscles and a 12-taco pack of flab from Taco Bell, I’m running – no sprinting – for the Border. I’m fast, too, so there ain’t no catching me.

Why wouldn’t it be my top choice? Health be damned, it’s delicious. And imaginative. Seriously, how many times can they reinvent the burrito and make it taste even better than it already does. 10, 12, infinity? Taco Bell is an invention factory and not even Apple can compete against their ingenuity. My feet tap in anticipation for what their wish-granters dream up next.

A sampling of orders w/in the last 2 weeks...

A sampling of orders w/in the last 2 weeks…

This habit, err addiction, is a problem. I recognize that, but I don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. Since my dear friend moved in and ignited the Tremont sky with its purple and blue neon-ringing bell, I average at minimum 1 visit per week. Often, it’s more. 2x, 3x, once I went 4x. It has reached the point where I hide the burrito wrappers and brown, coarse napkins that are dead giveaways of my problem below papers and food scraps and other trash in the garbage so my roommate doesn’t realize the full extent of my problem.

I’m a border junkie hooked on smack more powerful than whatever Walter White cooked up in his RV.

I’m going to stop. I promise. I have to stop. In one month, I’ll be 31. My waistband needs a breather from stretching. Damnit.

This year taught me that I cannot control my addiction for Taco Bell. This year taught me that I loved every bite of it.


P.S. Good luck in the morning if you end your night with a cup of French Press coffee, 2 chicken burritos, and 1 steak quesadilla. A single word describes the body’s reaction to this combination: Pain. I learned this lesson last Saturday night and Sunday morning. Sober.



  1. Well, since you asked, I’m a PhD student in Nutrition Epidemiology. Yup, I study diet and obesity for a living….so basically my entire career is aimed towards getting people to stop eating (or eat less) Taco Bell! Have you seen this article from the NY times: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/24/magazine/the-extraordinary-science-of-junk-food.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0? It’s super interesting how these companies are able to tweak the ingredients in a way that really does make you instinctively reach for another bite. I wish someone would teach us nutrition junkies how to do that with a bowl of broccoli. Anyway, your post made me laugh regardless!

    1. It appears that we find ourselves on opposite sides of the fence, much like St. Joe and Fremont Ross in the battle for Fremont…. (I kito sed). That article blew my mind. To be a fly on the wall in that 1999 meeting to see and hear the commentary… Wow. I tell you what – if you want to send me a ‘playbook’ for eating better (with specifics or I’ll topple from the wagon) then I’ll commit myself to it for as long as I can muster. And I promise to cut the Taco Bell to 1x per month.

      1. When I figure it out, I’ll let you know! Nutrition is simultaneously exceedingly complicated and simple.

        I bet you could eat healthfully on a Taco Bell diet, though, if you stuck to their Fresco menu, didn’t drink soda, and avoided anything with the words “Double Decker” or “Doritos” in the title….you should give it a try. You could do for TB what Jared did for Subway! (Although you’d first have to gain a few hundred lbs so you could lose it. But, you could also do that eating Taco Bell. So it’s a win win!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s